We've probably all been on it, or, have a friend who's on it and constantly updating you on his or her latest find. You might have even comforted them after a heartbreaking episode over one too many glasses of wine.
It's getting too real. Emotional unavailability, bread-crumbing, ghosting, stringing people along – the broken hearted are breaking hearts. It can be a vicious on that supposedly harmless dating platform if you're not careful.
And by being careful, I mean it with a whole lot of awareness and self-worth.
Let's start by being unapologetically yourself and then..
1. Set out with good intentions to make friends. Jumping from strangers to lovers sounds like bingeing to me! Expand your network, hang out with friends together and see where the chemistry take you. The deadline to make babies isn't tomorrow, right?
2. Be honest and true to yourself. Who are you and what kind of partner do you want? Realistically of course. There isn't a guy out there who can make you happy without you first being happy with yourself. Now, accept nothing less than what you want.
3. Just as we know like the back of our hands there are all kinds of people in this world, Tinder reflects this truth as well. Store away that fragile heart and remember this well. No matter what they say, do, or act like, it's NEVER about you. It's always about them. Yes, even if you just got ghosted.
4. Just as we're doubtful about a stranger who just tapped our shoulders to ask for directions, allow that trust of yours to be worked for and earned well. Another analogy – would you dump a good amount of your savings into an investment scheme you know nothing about? You get the gist.
5. Be prepared to be ghosted at any random point of time, even if it made absolutely no logical sense. This also means you don't spend the next few nights wondering what you did wrong or what was it about you that wasn't good enough. Remember, it's not about you :)
6. Mister nice guy? Miss I-dont-know-how-to-say-no? Tinder is not the place to be that. Unless you've got your seat belts on, that is.
7. Know your worth. Know your boundaries. Repeat.
8. Thanks but no thanks. Next up! Before you find yourself entering a runner-chaser dynamic only to struggle to float up to the surface, remember dear one, there will always be another match. The right match should not feel this hard.
In fact, pay attention to your emotions to get a good sense of who is right or not right for you instead of the mind chatter (read: ego) fantasising about what could have been.
If all else fails, get in touch!
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